Jared Daley lesson summary 4/2/14

So yesterdays lesson I left feeling defeated and unmotivated. Everyone knows I've always struggled for a good classical sound. I work my ass off practicing the wrong way and feel like a failure. My biggest fear with this stupid recital coming up is that everyone will attend and say wow, he's been here five years and he still sucks. So honestly I never want to sing classical music ever again. We worked on a lot of good things during the lesson, we found new good cues to help me keep space and keep open. I completely close myself off when i breathe. I close my glottis and keep it closed, so air can't just happen. So right now I have to cue it to be open so air can just come in. We fixed so much every week in one hour lessons.  But like Cindy said in my lesson she could have cried because it took me 5 years to figure this out. If by some chance I pass my preview on Monday I really don't care if anyone attends. I am completely unmotivated. I'm not playing a victim here, I'm merely expressing how i feel. I feel like i have improved a lot in other genres of singing. I feel that it mostly stems from getting positive feedback from those performances. I rarely get positive feedback from a classical performance and the way my mind works is then why would I want to sing that? I have no desire to be a classical singer. I feel like a senior recital should be a culmination of who you have become as a singer, and a preview to the world of what you are going to do. Wish me luck everyone.