Brianna said those were some great discoveries, but that may I should think of all those things in simplified terms so I don't get overwhelmed. I agreed. She suggested I think of them in gestures, like:
- "Huh"- low larynx
- Butterfly flutter-energy in the breath
- Bobble head- to release my a-o joint and keep molars parallel to the floor
We then began with lip buzzes 87654321 I think she started me around E5, and did descending repetitions, and then randomly would move up the scale. I felt a little reflux so I stopped for a moment took a sip of water. I then tried the rag doll while doing the exercise, and felt some release in my neck and lower back. That was helpful, but it was harder to phonate there. So I leaned over the bench she had and that helped. We kept on going and I think the exercises went better after that.
Before we moved on to the next exercise, Brianna asked me to have my arms come out as if they were the roots of a big tree, and she told me to think that I am a huge tree, and when I breath my breath goes down/out to my arms. I think that image and thought gave me much more of a released breath. Then she wanted me to maintain that on 534231271 [li] [le] [la] [lo] [li] [le] [la] [lo] [la]. We did quite a few repetitions. I felt better on the beginning ones, but I just felt like it got more and more stuck as we went on. I stopped Brianna and said to her that I've never really been able to do this exercise easily. She said that it requires teeth separation, and a speech-like sound while falling in the "nah-nah-nah-nah-nah" place. I think I had just never really understood what her expectation for that exercise had been, but that made a little more sense to me. I tried speaking the exercise, and she said that was better.
We then moved on to the "ng" tongue position 5 and then switched to [i] 54321. I don't know if that was working for me, because she had me switch to an "n" tongue position hum and then "nah" for the 54321. It sounded better, but I don't think I was really grasping it fully yet.
Brianna stopped me and said that she didn't want me to complicate the sound. She said that she has heard me sing musical theater before when I find that very simple and forward place. She said that we have that in classical singing as well. We don't change the presence of the sound that is in the mask of the face, and speech-like right in front of me. She also said to make it "non-singy" in my head, or don't have it in a singy place. Because then I sometimes get stuck.
She then had me do some sighs on an "n". After a few she added pitch "nah" sigh descending octave. I did one repetition and then she said, "good, I like that. And it's not that we don't want vibrato, but I don't want the vibrato where it starts to fall back. Because when you have vibrato you feel the presence of the vibrato back there. I feel like you associate vibrato with something back there. I don't think you try to make it happen there, but it's just a habit. So right now I'm asking for clarity and no vibrato."
She then redirected me with the gestures to help me to remember the things I was working on.
I told her that I was feel really tight right then. She said that she could feel it in my shoulders, back, and neck. I tried to stretch out a little bit. She said that it could just be the stress of the day with the big German test I had had. She asked me where I was feeling tight in my neck. I told her that when I become crazy-eyed I pull up on my eyebrows and then on the back of my head the muscles tense up near my neck, so I need to just think free!
She said to me, "When you truly have the expression and the feeling of the emotion that you are singing the eyes express the way they're supposed to."
I told her, "So I need to think of a happy posture."
"Yeah, and then think the "uh huh" speech-like place right in front of you, and bobble head."
We then moved on to "me" 87654321 keeping it in the hummy place in the mask. She said to make sure I feel like there is no help with the larynx. I felt like the hum was causing me to tense up, so I decided to just think the hum, and then invite my voice to come in when it was ready. I felt like the stress from the day had caused a lot of reflux, so my upper range wasn't really there. After that thought, my voice changed, and I felt the presence more in the mask while maintaining release. Brianna had to leave to grab some juice, so I decided to wiggle a little bit before she came back.
While she was gone, Ali arrived.
Brianna tried to do a few more repetitions before I began singing. I felt really released, and open in my breath. I finally found that place that I had been working on in my practice room. It was good to remind my voice and body of where it needs to be.
We began our singing portion with "Mandoline". I did a sing through with the music first. I tried to maintain that same simple placement I had in the last vocalize. I feel like I did a good job at keeping it light and simple, but it wasn't exactly in the mask. I could hear it in the timbre, and the weird vibrato. She said that she was happy for the most part that I was able to keep it in the simple high place. I said that I tried to think of that, but then I felt the squeeze come in. She clarified that when the squeeze happened the fuzziness began to creep in. I agreed with her. She said that when the buzz comes in it also starts to put a pressure on my VF's. She said the very first two lines I was in the right simple place. She said that she loves it when I'm in that simple place because I'm trusting in correct technique, the singer's formant, and trusting it to be present. I then chimed in that it's a balance of the think-let-trust idea, because I'm learning to trust the sound to be present. We talked about that for a bit, and then she said that the song was basically ready to pass off singing-wise, but she said for next week when I speak the text, to make sure to fix the nasalized e and a, because sometimes I make them the same sound. Also there was a part in the music where I put a dotted rhythm when there isn't supposed to be one. I reviewed it for a minute before I sang through the music again without my music.
I sang through it again and this time it was in the right placement, but I could hear that I didn't have the energy in my body, so sometimes my vibrato sounded not consistent. I think this may have been from not keeping my teeth separated as well, now that I'm listening to the recording.
I tried to sing the first few phrases of "En Sourdine", because I had practiced the melody and the words, but I hadn't really put them together. And I don't think I was really ready to put the two together yet. So I stopped and we moved on to a different song.
I then sang through the "Polar Bear". I wasn't keeping my jaw open, and Brianna also pointed out that I had crazy-eyes that time. I tried it again with that in mind, and I felt like that made a difference. She also said that I needed to make the text more clear. I sang it through again with that in mind and it helped tremendously.
We moved on to "The Lion, the tiger" I had my teeth separated, and was trying to be animated. It felt easy and simple. Brianna said that I needed to sing like that ALWAYS.
I began a new song "The Whale" I sang through it once with some pretty bad crazy eyes. So I just kept saying to myself stop with the crazy eyes. It was better. And then I kind of freaked out with the last high note, so Brianna reminded me to stay open and in that simple place for it.
Brianna said that I am singing more and more in the right place. She said that I'm less and less in the weird breathy fuzzy spot. She said that my German songs need to be more in the simple place like all the english and french ones are.
My goals for this week were to finish memorizing, drill the french texts, and keep things simple, bobble head, and without help in the larynx.
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