This was an extremely frustrating lesson. It has been a long time since I was so worked up that I started to get mad. Some of the vocalizes included: descending lip trills (followed by some jaw massaging); "lee lay lah loh, lee lay lah loh, lah" descending-she wanted me to imagine the sound going through my hard palate, since when I think of back space I tend to pull my tongue back too; full octave of the previous exercise-my sound was terrible on this. I had a really high larynx and it felt like I was squeezing out the sound. More vocalizes included: "na na na" really nasally on 5-4-3-2-1; "thee" 8-5-3-1; and "thee" full octave descending. She got really stuck on the octave one. She just kept going with it and I felt like my sound was getting worse. I really felt like I was doing my best to attempt the vocalize, but it wasn't working and I started to get annoyed that she was still insisting on it when it was clear that I wasn't benefiting from it all. I finally just asked her to pick a different one since I was getting so worked up. My emotions--at that point--were completely in the way of me doing this scale. Yet we still did it. I think at this point my face was starting to show my frustration, so we moved on to a new one.
And that is how I felt about most of my lesson. I just felt so off, and I couldn't seem to line up with her train of thought. I sounded young and inexperienced on both my songs, and I was really disheartened when I left, knowing that juries were the next day and I had had a terrible last hour. I don't know what was hanging on so much in my body. Something just would now let go.
I'm happy to say that this did not linger into the next day. I'm still not sure even as I listen back to it what was going on. I'm hoping to never have a lesson like that again because I haven't felt that irritated over singing in a long time.
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