Emily F. lesson 2/12

Emily F. lesson 2/12:
I was coming down with a cold, so I didn't spend much time warming up before my lesson. I did some easy vocalizes. Because of being kind of sick, I had minimal expectations for my voice, which proved to be very freeing and helped me have a great lesson. I brought a song analysis to turn in. Laurie followed up with me about some of my emotional stuff and we talked about that for a couple minutes. Things were much better. We did [m-a] on a descending five-note scale, then added ascending and descending to it. We did some dump-float vocalizes on [a]. We did lip buzz alternating with [a] on 135875421. Then we did [ni ne na no nu] on 13531, [ssai] on 854321, siren, then ascending siren up to a high [a] on 54321--we moved down a lot on this vocalize, my lowest note being a B2. [o no] on 1358 with a M3 flip up on the top, back down 531, then we switched to [e no]. When Laurie reminded me to keep space on the [e] so the transition to the [no] opened easier, the difference in the ease and the sound was amazing. I've been working on keeping my jaw more open more of the time, and it's helping me a lot. I got up to a D#6 on this exercise. We pulled out "Die Mainacht" by Brahms, which I haven't looked at in at least six months, but I'm singing it for NATS. We talked a little bit about my imagery for the song. I told Laurie about body mapping and the Malde book and how amazing it has been to be able to stabilize myself with a good map of my lower body. Obviously it's going to take time to make this stuff a habit, but already practicing sitting and standing with my new map has given me more energy and strength. It's amazing! I started the song and it was decent. Laurie asked me to start again, practicing my "anchor" better, like I was telling her about. It was better. After singing through the whole song, we both felt like it has aged well. It's better after six months of not touching it than it was the last time I sang it. Laurie asked me what my goal would be for singing it at NATS. I said that I just want to be able to feel the song and convey the message to the audience, not worrying about my voice. I sang it again, this time establishing my lower body map even better, getting really comfortable in it, and then letting everything go and putting my whole heart into it. About halfway through the song I was moved enough to almost start crying. I felt kind of silly and realized I needed to not indulge my desire to cry, but just continue sending out that full feeling. Little things about my body were in my awareness, like remembering that I could let go of my jaw on the big notes and let it fly, but mostly I was comfortable enough in my body to just focus on the message. It felt amazing. When the song was over, Laurie said that she had almost started crying too! We talked about how I could keep that feeling when I get in front of an audience. I really want to be able to do that. Because it was such a successful attempt at the song, we left it there, and moved on to "Mandoline" by Faure. It was better than it has been before--I remembered my lemon face. I still have work to do with the French and I need to speak it lots more. I said that the song sounds and feels weak to me. Laurie asked me to describe the song. I chose the words "sweet," "light," and "dance-like". So Laurie asked me to dance like my six year-old would while singing. It was better in my body and voice, and showed me how much energy is really required. But by the end of the song my voice was done for the day. I stopped singing but we discussed what I can do with the song, dancing with my girls while listening, speaking the text, etc. I was very happy with the whole lesson. I couldn't believe how well I could sing despite my being sick. It was wonderful to have an emotional experience singing that I was able to convey outside of myself also.