Emily F. body mapping class substitution

Emily F. body mapping class substitution: The word "posture" isn't quite as negative for me as it could be for other people, but I do see the rigidity that it can impose on me. Better words for me are "powerful," "strong," "energized," and "balanced". 

From my head, to my A-O joint, through my cervical and thoracic vertebrae, I feel like I'm in pretty good shape. I do "hold" a lot in place when I get nervous, but I don't feel like I do any weird sticking my head out or pulling it back. I think my skull rests comfortably on my neck, but sometimes is more rigid than it could be. 

Because I've had so many back problems for so many years, I have a fairly decent map of my spine, but I noticed a few things as I worked through this chapter. I really tend to straighten the lumbar curve of my spine instead of letting it be what it is. I think part of that is that my lumbar area is where I've had surgery and problems, so I do a lot of "holding" it in place. My body is pretty much always afraid of my back getting injured again. I don't think about it much, but the muscles around that area seem to be tense most of the time. Another reason is that I'm overweight, and if I let my lumbar curve be natural, my belly hangs out farther than I want it to. I try to suck in my stomach, or at least keep it tensed a lot of the time, which affects my spine. Even though my map is pretty good, I definitely did underestimate the size of my lumbar vertebrae and connecting tissues.

All of this also has an effect on my hip joints as well. My map of my hips was not accurate. I was amazed to see how big of a curve there is from the greater trochanter to the hip joint itself, and where my hips are in relation to my pelvis. It gives me more power to see the way the pelvis, spine, and hips all work together, and what big bones those are. I can rest and rely on them more comfortably. 

My knee joints are not too bad, but when I tried making sure the rest of me was aligned so that I could stand with balanced knees, I found that I do lean back more than I should. Part of this is psychological, I'm sure, because I feel so embarrassed and apologetic when I sing that I lean back and retreat into myself somewhat. When I tried singing in this posture, my sound was swallowed. When I leaned farther forward than was necessary, my sound was shallow and weak. And when I was balanced, my sound was surprisingly full, balanced, and not swallowed. I felt a big difference between the three positions. Also, I think that because my lumbar area and my hips are not in great shape it makes my alignment or balance off. But, usually my knees are ok, not locked or bent.

My ankle joints are another problem area. I don't stand straight on my feet! Having the "tripod" visual is helping me to see that my feet are really strong and can distribute my weight just fine into the floor if I keep them balanced. It takes mental effort for me to trust that my bones will hold me up. I definitely pictured the bones of my foot wrong, not realizing that the heel bone is quite a bit farther back from the leg bones, but of course that makes sense. And seeing the stability of that design gives me more confidence in resting on my feet.